These last two weeks have been ROUGH. I haven’t posted because I have been dealing with a lot of other things…
I had finals for school, my Mom’s birthday, Mother’s Day, and my anniversary with my boyfriend. I have had zero motivation to do anything which made my final papers and exams extremely difficult. I feel like I have had a mental fog the past few weeks and I can’t shake it. I don’t know if it’s because I have had very little interaction with people or if it’s from being stuck inside for 50+ days. Needless to say, I have been struggling.
I have been going through a roller-coaster of emotions with so many things being celebrated. I have been trying to make the best out of every situation but my anniversary has been the hardest. We were suppose to be on a cruise for our 10 year. It’s a big one and we wanted to celebrate in a big way. As the day came, I felt increasingly sad. And, it’s not just because I don’t get to go on a cruise (although, that does contribute), it’s beacuase we didn’t get to really celebrate. We couldn’t go anywhere or really do anything and it SUCKED. We still had dinner but it just wasn’t the same. I actually tried really hard to make it feel special so I dressed up and did full blown makeup (the exact outfit and makeup I was planning on doing on our cruise) and surprised my boyfriend. It actually felt so good to get dressed up even though we didn’t go anywhere.
I also have been dealing with 10 pounds of weight gain which I’m not super happy about. I never was a hardcore fitness person before quarantine but I was active. I walked around campus (which is huge) twice a week, I did a lot of walking around at work, and I would occasionally walk in the mornings before work. Not having those every day activities that kept me on my feet has definitely caught up with me. For me its not about the number on the scale but how I feel and I don’t feel great. It also is definitely affecting my mood as well. I find I am super cranky and its like a downward spiral of bad mood and not moving off the couch.
Honestly, I have been a mess. I am trying my best to look on the positive side and to deal with my struggles as they come but TBH it is hard! I am going to put more effort into being more active, even if that means pacing back-and-forth in my living room, and getting my fair share of fresh air. I just know that if I don’t start making some changes I’m pretty sure I’m going to be worse off.
How have you been doing? I really would like to know even if you are living your best life right now or crying every day. I hope that it is the former of the two but life right now is hard for everyone and it is so easy to get overwhelmed. Sometimes talking about it really helps and just know you are not alone.